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RejectedValentines

Not Your Average Rejected Valentines

As it turns out–there are certain sensitivities when it comes to romance–and because this is not exactly my wheel house–if you know what I’m saying, I’m showing some love to concepts that (ahem!) didn’t get any love…

universe

Not Your Average Universe

I feel the need to clarify one thing about the type of Universe I’m talking about. According to Oprah, the Universe can give you everything you want out of life. You just need to “will it” to yourself. How do you do it? If you put the message out there, plant the seed, dream it, live it, write it down, put it in your journal–anything your heart desires can be yours. Oprah calls it The Secret. Orphan children in third world countries call it–bullsh*t, and so do I. You know who else calls bullsh*t? Anne Frank.

UrbanCowboy

Not Your Average Urban Cowboy

Okay, so you know in the movies, when the skinny, pale, awkward nerd gets a makeover and somehow they manage to find like a really hot date, and then they make that really breathtakingly unforgettable slow motion entrance to the party and people can’t stop gawking because they’re just so luminous? Well, turns out I have nothing in common with films of that nature…

ChristmasCarol

Not Your Average Christmas Carol

My best Christmas was in 1992 when Santa brought me something I didn’t even know I wanted until I opened it–a Super Nintendo! My reaction was not dissimilar to that of a thirteen-year-old girl in the front row of the Ed Sullivan show during that epic Beatles performance. Or if you’re under twenty, that girl who cried when Sanjaya performed on American Idol [READ MORE]

BoyScout

Not Your Average Boy Scout

The year was 1994, and my parents had just announced that they would be getting a divorce–something I had seen coming for years, and yet it still seemed to take me by surprise. At the time, I remember being less sad about the idea of our family breaking up and more…excited — excited that I would now have two of everything—or so I thought. You can imagine the look on my face when we packed our bags and moved into my grandmother’s 600 square foot, one bedroom apartment building. This was not at all what the movies had led me to believe divorce was like. I learned quickly that my parents’ divorce was probably not going to benefit me at all — in fact, it looked like I might actually stand to lose something.

harrypotter

Not Your Average Harry Potter

For all you underage University freshmen out there, I give you this piece of practical and incredibly invaluable advice: If you’re going to use a fake ID for the first time in your life, I suggest you do it at a time when you aren’t dressed like like The Boy Who Lived [READ MORE...]

Phantom2

Not Your Average Phantom of the Opera

Superheroes were all the rage when I was in elementary school. If you didn’t have a kick-ass superhero costume on Halloween, you knew better than to show your face at the annual St. Charles Elementary Halloween Day Parade. I struggled for a long time when deciding which superhero I would be. My mother campaigned hard for Spider Man—“He doesn’t have many friends either”–pep talks were not her forte. But Peter Parker just didn’t feel like the right fit. I was looking for something more…musical [READ MORE]

Not Your Average Blue Man Group

Required Listening: Take a Chance On Me by ABBA
 
There is only one word that accurately describes my theatre career—fleeting.
I made my stage debut in the Monsignor Clancy High School Production of The

Not Your Average Veterinarian

Required Listening: Bad Touch by The Bloodhound Gang.
 
Twenty years ago I thought the future me would be much further ahead. I’m not saying things have turned out better or worse– just different. Let

Not Your Average Intervention

Required Listening: The Other Side by Bruno Mars feat. Cee-Lo & B.O.B
 
So far, I have spent a lot of time talking about what I’m not good at on this blog: first dates, first